10 Warning Signs You’re in an Emotionally Unhealthy Relationship

Thanks be to God, there is always a way forward. But we also need to be realistic. Seeking resurrection always involves a kind of death—the death of what we know, hope for, and especially the demise of coping mechanisms that feel safe, powerful, and familiar. Often our unhealthy choices are our weapons—they feel like the only thing keeping us from getting hurt.

Like Eustace becoming a dragon in CS Lewis’ The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, we let our skin get thick to protect ourselves—but as a result, we are transformed into something less than human. We can be resurrected—but it might be painful, especially at first.

With the help of the Holy Spirit, may each of us recognize the unhealthy ways we love others. May we lay down our serrated weapons of war, and instead pick up the craftsman’s tools Jesus urges us to use instead: honesty, forgiveness, wise counsel, clear, loving no’s, and the humility to admit when we are wrong.

Heather Caliri is a writer from San Diego who uses tiny, joyful yeses to free herself from anxiety. Tired of anxiety controlling your life? Try her mini-course, “Five Tiny Ideas for Managing Anxiety," for free here.

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