More Than an Apology: A Guide to Making Amends During AA

Although legal, alcohol is one of the most dangerous drugs in the world. It can cause many physical issues along with psychological damage.

One of the longest-standing recovery options for alcohol abuse is Alcoholics Anonymous. This 12-step program works to prepare people for a life of sobriety.

However, the program isn’t easy. Step nine, which involves making amends, is a big challenge for many people. That’s why we’ve created this guide to help navigate the process.

Understanding What Amends Are

When you make amends, you’re compensating someone for wrongdoings.

To make amends, you’ll need to do several things. First, you’ll need to take stock of your harmful behavior and what kind of damage it caused.

After that, you’ll need to express your willingness to repair the damage. This means admitting your wrongdoings.

Once you’ve decided how you’re going to repair the damage, you must be willing to be patient when regaining trust.

The Different Types of Amends

One of the most important aspects of step nine is understanding the different types of amends. Each person you make amends with will require one of three approaches.

The first is direct amends. This involves confronting the person who you’ve treated poorly. It’s up to you to take responsibility for your actions.

The second is indirect amends. This involves repairing irreversible damage through things like volunteering or charity.

The last type is called living amends. This involves showing that you’ve made a positive lifestyle change.

Preparations

When repairing family relationships or regaining the trust of your friends, you need to have a game plan. There are some rules you should follow when making amends.

It’s important to get started right away. Procrastinating will cause added stress which could lead to relapse. Remember, you have to keep your health in mind too.

You need to think about how you’ve hurt each person on your list. This will determine which type of amends is the most suitable.

It’s important to understand that this process could take a long time. Some people may feel hesitant to forgive you and give you their trust. Accept that you may have lost some relationships forever.

What to Avoid

Making amends is one of the most sensitive steps in AA. There are several things you’ll need to avoid. The last thing you want to do is make things worse between you and a friend or family member.

This isn’t a time to be impulsive. Confront each person on their terms and remain patient. You owe this to them.

There’s a chance some of the people on your list have also hurt you. In this case, you’ll need to consider your recovery first. Making amends with a toxic person can lead to fighting and potential relapse.

Advance Your Recovery By Making Amends

If you’ve reached the ninth step in AA, you’re getting close to your recovery goals. Although this step may seem impossible, getting through it will help you feel complete.

Use this guide when making amends and regain the trust of those you’ve harmed.

We hope this article has proven helpful. Feel free to browse the rest of our site for more inspirational tips and advice.