6 Signs That It’s Time to Define the Relationship

When it comes to dating relationships, one of the toughest conversations occurs when we must “define the relationship.” Learning where the other person stands within the relationship is essential. Lack of communication here can cause confusion and undue stress on both parties. 

Being clear on whether the relationship is a just a friendship, dating casually, or preparing for marriage can help everyone involved make the necessary choices. Having the “define the relationship” talk empowers each person to move forward with pursuing the relationship or consider a new dating partner. This vital dating conversation avoids the awkwardness of one person feeling like they are trapped in the friend-zone or feeling forced to go further than they really want. Pastor Kyle Idleman defines the D.T.R. (Define the Relationship) talk in detail in his book, Not A Fan. 

“There comes a time when you need to define the relationship. It can be awkward. It can be uncomfortable. But eventually every healthy relationship reaches a point when the D.T.R. talk is needed. Is it casual or is it committed? Have things moved past infatuation and admiration and towards deeper devotion and dedication? You need to intentionally evaluate the state of the relationship and your level of commitment to the person.”

The D.T.R. conversation should always be in person and may take place over occasions. This serious moment in a relationship should not be done out of aggravation or desperation, but from a place of seeking truth. Before addressing the other person, be sure to seek the Lord for direction on the words to say and the ability to process what you may hear. Unfortunately, these moments don’t always go the way we would like. Yet, its essential to stand in faith that if the person in question is from the Lord, it will be made clear and He will direct your path. 

With this in mind, here are a few indicators that it’s time to define the relationship: