Couples Counseling

5 Things Men Need From Their Wives: Understand Your Husband

5 Things Men Need From Their Wives

In my practice, I see couples struggle to understand how to meet each other’s needs. I am speaking well-nigh the needs of men here, but I moreover want to think well-nigh how this applies to wives also. Husbands and wives both have needs. It is true that both struggle to express their needs and understand their partner’s needs.

When you are struggling in a relationship, it may be considering needs are not stuff met. Confusion and frustration are the norm in marriages, but that does not midpoint that you aren’t worldly-wise to make changes. When you start feeling hopeless, there are options. Understanding the needs of your spouse is important to navigating these options. In our culture, we do not pay as much sustentation to others’ needs. We focus on ourselves. Some may disagree, but our country has wilt increasingly self-centered. I encourage you to step out of your world and ask yourself if you are meeting your husband’s needs. Or, do you plane know what they are?

Men have many needs. After exploring many variegated resources, asking my clients, and observing what husbands say to me in my office, I see 5 needs that stand out. Wives, please take note. Husbands need from their wives encouragement, appreciation, bilateral fun, excitement, and a sense of purpose.

Here are 5 of the top needs that wives can provide for their husbands.

Although there are many needs that men in their marriage seek, the ones I have listed are often the top 5. The ones I have left out, but no doubt are important are things like trust, peace, affection, commitment, grace, and freedom. I in no way think that those needs whilom are not important, but they may be largest labeled as subcategories and are interchangeable at times. Remember, all men are created by God uniquely. Their needs may be different. However, the pursuit seem to be the top needs that I have found that men seek and desire.

1. Husbands need encouragement.

Encouragement is so important. I have written an vendible surpassing well-nigh a wife’s role in a marriage and what her purpose for this role is. The first mention of Eve in the Bible talks well-nigh a wife stuff a helper. Also, in Ephesians, it refers to the idea of submission, but some versions of the Bible translate this word as encouragement and support.

Men are doers as we will talk well-nigh later. However, they don’t unchangingly know if they are enough. I have heard this sentiment many times in my office. Husbands need a mate that can support and build them up at times. Men want to be great. They were created with a heart to conquer, but without encouragement, they may believe a lie that they don’t think they have the ability.

We all need encouragement. Husbands need this in their marriages. How many men are struggling with conviction and self-esteem issues? You probably wouldn’t know considering most men do not talk well-nigh it. Many well-known writers who write well-nigh marriage or men detail the needs of men in their relationships and encouragement is an important one. Wives, I rencontre you to encourage your husband once a day for a week and see if you see a transpiration in how he acts throughout the week.

2. Husbands need appreciation.

In the book Love and Respect written by Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs, he talks well-nigh how men need love, but not like a woman. Love to a man is spelled “R-E-S-P-E-C-T”. What did he midpoint by that? The word used over and over is appreciation. A husband wants to be appreciated. He wants to be admired. He wants to be seen as important to his wife. It goes when to the question: “Am I enough.”

I have heard men say they wonder if they are enough. Too many times we hear people say that this is just pride. I may be a man, but this is not pride. Pride comes from a place where you finger like you are largest than others and deserve something. I don’t think this need for appreciation is pride filled if it is genuine. I think it has increasingly of a feeling of stuff wanted and that you matter to someone.

When men finger disrespected, they sense that the person who does not fathom them does not superintendency well-nigh them or like them. People want to be liked, but men finger liked when someone appreciates their presence. Disrespect is not necessarily telling him that he is a horrible person. It’s increasingly when you don’t tell him how much he is worth.

3. Husbands need bilateral fun and activity.

When a man gets into a relationship, he finds his partner is fun to be around. I have seen men who were not as attracted to a friend and has so much fun with their friend that they sooner fall in love with them. They were not talking well-nigh anything important, but the companionship matters to them.

Husbands want to have fun with their wives. They enjoy the reaction they see in their spouse. Again it tells them they are important. I think we alimony answering this question: “Am I important.” A guy sees that he is loved and matters to his wife when he sees her enjoying his presence and having fun with him. If the fun stops, they tend to start a downhill trend in their relationship.

Spending time together in a fun worriedness is needed to help a husband finger like their wife wants to be virtually their husband. The next need tends to help us understand increasingly well-nigh this.

4. Husbands need excitement and adventure.

Men love excitement and adventure. We see this in their zeal for their work, risky activities, sports, and focus. Wives, I know you have this too, but when a husband is enjoying himself, he doesn’t want to stop. It’s nonflexible to tear his focus away. If you want to meet his needs, help him find excitement and adventure.

What is excitement and adventure? In the book, Wild at Heart, John Eldredge discusses a man’s purpose is to be a hero and to go on conquests. He was born to fix, create, solve problems, and more. Unfortunately, due to it not stuff directed in the right direction, men may turn to addiction, affairs, or other unhealthy and hurtful behaviors.

Excitement for men can be anything that makes them finger alive. It stimulates his need to matter and to be a worthier part of something. What is the husband to do if he is bored? Hopefully, he will find something of purpose to pour his energy into. Wives can help with this. You may need to be creative and work with each other to find creative ways to increase excitement and venture in your relationship.

5. Husbands need a sense of purpose.

Finally, husbands need a sense of purpose. Their wives can meet this need too. They desire to provide, protect, fix, and bring joy to you. Let them! I have seen too many couples where the wife becomes sealed off. Many times this is considering the husband truly hurt them. Sometimes the hurt comes out of purpose stuff stifled. I am not foolish to think that there are some bilateral unhealthy behaviors.

As you can see, in the needs we mentioned before, purpose is important. This purpose is increasingly of how a husband can be there for his wife. Your husband needs you to encourage him in these purposes, not disparage or discourage him. Give him a purpose regularly, expressly ones that he feels you welter in and make you happy.


One of the things I am seeing is all of these needs are intertwined. As above, giving a husband purpose-filled activities may moreover need an encouraging word or appreciation when he fulfills them. Wives have needs too. This vendible is only focusing on husbands’ needs from their wives. Wives, I will focus on your needs in flipside article.

If you are a wife, please know that you can be valuable in helping your husband be the man he needs to be. You can plane help your relationship thrive through how you engage in helping him finger loved, respected, and encouraged. If you are a husband, hopefully, you have found clarity in why you struggle in your marriage and what you finger you have been missing.

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