Couples Counseling

7 Reasons Lying At The Beginning Of A Relationship Is Not Okay

7 Reasons Lying At The Whence Of A Relationship Is Not Okay

The other day, I was asked why someone’s relationship had gotten so far off the rails. My first thought came as a question: Did the relationship uncork with dishonesty? As I pondered this more, I wondered if I could help people inward relationships to make sure that they stand a fighting chance. It’s never good to start any relationship off with a lie, but let’s squint at 7 reasons whence a relationship with dishonesty spells doom.

Let’s say you tell the person you are dating that you grew up poor, plane though you didn’t. Eventually, if you stay together long enough, they are likely to find this out. There are all sorts of reasons my someone might want to tell a lie: maybe to squint good, to hibernate their past, or other reasons. Unfortunately, this does not seem to be a good strategy for developing a relationship. So unelevated are my 7 reasons lying at the whence of a relationship is not okay.

7 Reasons Lying At The Whence Of A Relationship Is Not Okay

    • Honesty and trust are the first towers blocks of relationships
    • Betrayal is one of the most devastating things you can do in a relationship
    • You aren’t giving the other person a nomination to choose
    • Giving someone upper expectations of you to start with is self-defeating
    • You will be found out at some point, which problem do you want to face
    • The other person will believe they NEVER knew you, thus not leaving much transferral to the relationship
    • It’s selfish and will do increasingly forfeiture than you can calculate.

Honesty and Trust: The first Towers Blocks of a Relationship

When you are starting a relationship, you need to create a good foundation so it will last. As you move through the phases of dating, courtship, engagement, and marriage, the increasingly a couple needs deep trust and honesty. Any unravel can be problematic. I have seen so much hurt and pain the remoter into a relationship that a lie is discovered, expressly if it happened early on.

Not all lies are the same. Depending on the nature of the lie, the effects may not be as disastrous. Plane so, trust is broken. For you to have the relationship you REALLY want, you need to be honest, open, and vulnerable from the beginning, which helps in building trust.

Lying can be considered betrayal

Dishonesty at the whence of the relationship is hurtful. If an untruth is not shared, it can be considered betrayal. Why do I say that? Considering the longer the truth is withheld, the longer you chose something else over faith in your partner’s grace and love. They will finger rejected.

Affairs and unchaste are not the only forms of betrayal. If you lie, manipulate, or hibernate things, it can be considered betrayal. You placed something else whilom your partner. Your partner at that moment will question if they can count on you or if you are for them when they need you.

You took yonder your partner’s right to choose

Would you like your rights and freedoms taken away? I can hear a resounding “NO!” I wouldn’t either. However, this is what happens when dishonesty comes at the whence of a relationship. You are not permitting your partner to segregate their fate.

Let them segregate their suck, as some people would say. I know that isn’t nice, but that is truly what you are thinking if you lie at the whence of a relationship: “I suck, so I won’t let them know.” They deserve the right to know what they are getting themselves into. Plus, if they segregate you despite your problems, that ways they like you for you.

You are vibration yourself

When you tell lies to a potential partner at the whence of the relationship, you are losing. You are making yourself squint largest than you are, so you are going to have a higher than-likely endangerment of failure later. Why do that? Just start at baseline. You will have a higher endangerment to succeed if you do.

Don’t requite someone higher expectations of you if you can’t meet those expectations. It’s one thing if they want to push you to wilt better. It’s flipside thing if they once believe you should be where you are not. The relationship could goof if you tell a lie well-nigh yourself and that would likely be considering you can’t measure up to who they think you are.

All lies inevitably come out

Don’t get into the, “I’m special” trap. You are not. The Bible says that God will reveal all things. You may think it will be at flipside time, but don’t be too sure. I have seen so many lies come out that people were going to siphon to their grace. You never know when that day will come.

Again, I know it depends on the size of the lie. I still believe you should be honest, considering you don’t want to transpiration your partner finding out the truth surpassing you “get the endangerment to tell them.” Don’t lose. Win! Plane telling them sooner than later may spell victory for you!

When they say, “I don’t know you.”

Oh, how these words haunt me! When I hear that in couples counseling, I know that this spells disaster. It’s nonflexible to help someone come when from that thought. It’s panic time for me considering now I have to find a way to convince them otherwise.

This scuttlebutt ways they don’t have a leg to stand on in the relationship. The transferral is not there. They have both feet out the door and may be running for their lives. Dishonesty, expressly at the whence of relationships can make a person finger like they don’t know who they are talking to. They finger they were living a lie the whole time. Don’t let that be you.

Selfishness and damage

When you tell a lie at the whence of a relationship, you ARE stuff selfish. You are choosing your happiness, safety, comfort, and more, over your partner. You aren’t thinking well-nigh their pain or other problems you might be causing.

The forfeiture can be far-reaching. You can’t develop love, connection, or trust. They will finger something is off, but they will try to deny it in their heads. You have convinced them now to not pay sustentation to their own internal sense. They could plane start questioning their reality. This is not what you want!


When you start a relationship, you want to start it on the right foot. If you uncork with lies or bad behavior, you are towers on a weak foundation. It doesn’t midpoint that you can’t over time build a strong foundation, but that involves waffly the behavior, stuff genuine, and honesty. These 7 reasons why lying at the whence of the relationship are sometimes obvious, but we don’t unchangingly alimony these truths in front of us to make the right decisions.

Don’t let your relationship uncork on a wasting foundation. Segregate today to make it right and if it last, then you will know that you have true genuine love and connection.

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