Can a Relationship Be Saved after Domestic Violence?
A physical attack on your home is one of the worst things that can happen to you. If you are not safe with your husband, when will you be safe?
Everyone who knows and loves you may also be scared and tell you to get out of the relationship for safety reasons. They will want to protect you. It therefore seems rather futile and perhaps silly to try to fix a marriage after being beaten, punched, electrocuted or strangled.
I was thinking the same thing. But they taught me!
I grew up with as many women as possible who had experienced domestic violence and were still working on their relationships.
I learned that I was also afraid of domestic violence. I was too afraid to find my faith, so I was responsible and told the women that if they were in such difficult circumstances, they should leave.
I became a popular woman who didn't know that domestic violence didn't mean the relationship couldn't be fixed.
I learned from the women I celebrated. Women who have accepted the reins of their husbands and decided to separate.
I have heard of women who had to go to hospital for injuries after fighting with their husbands.
These women were scared too, but something made them decide to try The Six Intimacy Skills™ instead of leaving their marriage. Experts in their own lives, they decided to experiment.
They found a way to fix their marriage and make it safer because they didn't want to be victims and they didn't want a divorce.
Once again, they became coaches who showed other women how to repair their marriages after domestic violence.
Here are three common themes I hear from highly successful women:
1. They Chose Their Focus Wisely
Even after they had proof that their husbands were a threat, women who arranged their marriages after domestic violence racked up evidence of the good man they had and how he wanted to be their hero and protect them.
Like looking at a glass of water and declaring it half empty or half full. Both are true, aren't they?
These brave wives chose to look at their husbands through the lens of faith rather than faith. fear. It takes a little courage! But they did.
And I admire them for it.
2. They Were Careful about Who They Listened To
Fear is easy to induce, and when you're going through something traumatic like domestic violence, it's a big deal. Other people can enjoy this drama, get bossy like me, and tell you to go for it.
But women who could mend their marriages and make them great again, listened to the voice they had in your ears. We all choose who we listen to at any time.
These women chose people face each other, defend them when talking about their marriage and withdrawing or not sharing with people who scared them or told them to leave.
3. They Were Willing to Try Some Experiments
The women who reunited their families, who gave them security and peace, didn't know what was possible when they started.
But they were willing to experiment.
They were willing to do things they had never done before even if they felt uncomfortable or afraid to start the marriage they didn't had never had before. They were ready to say unusual and new things, to do new things, and to throw away everything they thought they knew.
And thanks to it, they found a new way forward.