Couples Counseling

How to Build Trust in a Marriage

How to Build Trust in a Marriage

When a couple starts dating and enters a increasingly serious relationship with each other, they automatically seem to trust each other. They don’t question each other’s motives. The couple gives each other the goody of the doubt. Then one day something happens to disturb their tranquility. A negative event can strike unendingly without a couple has started dating, when they are engaged, or plane without they are married. Trust can quickly be lost. Whether small or large, the earthquake shakes their view of each other and leaves cracks in the foundation of the relationship.

Ever wondered how to build trust in a relationship or a marriage, despite the inevitable mismatch that will arise? That’s what I want to help you with. The possibilities of things that can unravel trust can be endless. However, we can examine some very specific things that can help a marriage build and retain trust between the spouses involved. Without researching and diving into many resources that help us understand trust and what it is, I have compiled information to help you see how trust is built. Trust in marriage is built by having well-constructed honesty, consistency in behavior, genuine affection, openness and vulnerability, and validation and listening.

What is trust in marriage?

Trust in marriage is the conviction we place in our spouse. This conviction is placed on them to follow through on what they say they will do for us and to succeed the things we reasonably request or expect. It’s not a question whether they superintendency unbearable or if they will do what you ask them to do, you just seem they will act on their love for you. It’s kind of like sitting in a chair. When you seem that the chair will not fall untied as you sit down, you trust the chair to stay strong.

Understanding that we tend to have an overabundance of conviction in new relationships helps shed light on the fact that sometimes our expectations and assumptions can get us in trouble. However, trust is not expecting something unrealistic. Unrealistic “trust” is irrational and foolish. Real trust is increasingly understood as faith or hope in something. Faith and hope alimony trust tempered. They don’t indulge us to go all in but do alimony us unshut to the possibilities. Faith and hope alimony us increasingly rational while keeping a healthy understanding that what we are trusting may reasonably goof us.

Humans are fallible and imperfect. Trust in marriage comes with the forfeit of sometimes not seeing our desires fulfilled. We don’t get to segregate our spouse’s choices. We only segregate whether or not we will place our hope and faith in their abilities. Their potential worthiness does not spell verism or completion of the thing we are hoping for. So trust in marriage is when we decide to place our hope in our spouse’s potential to serve us, protect us, and love us. We do this despite the possibility of stuff disappointed. A increasingly thorough subtitle of trust can be found in my article: What is trust?

What does the Bible say well-nigh trust in marriage?

The Bible is not as specific well-nigh trust in relationships but has much to say well-nigh trust. The pursuit are a few verses that describe God’s view of trust. Read them and determine how you think they wield to marriage.

Biblical Verses:

Jeremiah 17:7 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and whose hope is the Lord.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways unclose him and he will make your paths straight.”

Meaning of trust in these verses…

Let’s squint at the Hebrew of the word trust in these passages. Betach: ways to be bold, to have confidence, to be secure, and to finger safe.

It can moreover be translated at times as trust, confidence, secure, confident, bold, careless, hope, and sure.

Do you notice that this usage of trust is a verb or whoopee word. Remember I mentioned the word nomination or visualization whilom in our definition. Making a nomination is the whoopee you are taking. The Bible implies that trusting someone is a nomination to have conviction or hope in. It moreover talks well-nigh stuff bold. Boldness is when you make an effort to step forward in a increasingly warlike choice.

5 Ways to Build Trust in Marriage

When you want to build trust in your relationship, at whatever stage it is in, I encourage 5 principles to help build and maintain trust. Other ways are moreover helpful, but I find these to be the most important. First, you need to be completely honest. Consistency shows you can be counted on as you protract in the relationship. Genuine unhealthfulness and superintendency exhibit the truth well-nigh your heart. Openness and vulnerability ensure there is nothing hidden. Finally, Validating and listening to your loved one reassures them that they are important to you.

Complete Honesty in Your Relationship

The thought of stuff completely honest for some will sound daunting. Is anyone overly completely honest? A truly born-again parishioner might be, but plane some well-known Biblical notation lied, usually out of fear. The question is, did it help them? I wrote increasingly on this topic HERE. Most of the time when someone lies, it does not end how they hoped it would. The consequences can be big or small, with very few benefits.

When you segregate to be completely honest in a relationship, you are telling your wife or husband that they matter more. They matter increasingly than your emotional safety and increasingly than your desire to be seen in a good light. Choosing to be honest no matter what provides them with little room to question you.

Being honest moreover provides you with peace. You never have to worry well-nigh whether you have to imbricate up a lie. As you live at peace with yourself, your spouse will finger your peace. She will enjoy the safety of knowing she can trust what you are saying without questioning if you are who you say you are. Our emotions, behaviors, and soul language will reveal our true nature, and when you are honest, you will be giving off relaxed and well-appointed vibes that your partner can count on.

Consistency in Policies and Follow Through

Consistency is so important in everything. Think well-nigh going to work. When you are unceasingly late, your superabound can’t trust that you can be counted on to be there when he needs you. He begins to trust his gut that you will be late increasingly than you will be on time. He inevitably loses hope that you will be a good worker.

There are many increasingly examples of consistency we can give, but when you are consistent, it shows! I have many spouses who say that their partner does not follow through when they tell them they will do something. Well, pursuit through is a form of consistency. Do what you say you are going to do and your spouse will trust you in that zone of your marriage and life. They may not trust you in flipside area, but have you been resulting there?

You will build trust when you show that you unceasingly follow through and don’t transpiration positive behavior. Consistency reveals a pattern in policies that says, I can be counted on! Isn’t that what we said trust was about? Be resulting in treating your spouse well, loving them, and speaking to the kindly. We get to know people by what we see them unceasingly do. Then trust is built by consistency!

Genuine Unhealthfulness and Superintendency toward Your Partner

Being sympathizing and demonstrating superintendency toward your spouse shows them that you are interested in them. When we see others stuff sympathizing and caring for us, we automatically trust them. Unhealthfulness and superintendency towards others tend to midpoint that the person wants the weightier for you. We interpret that superintendency and unhealthfulness in a way that feels unscratched and as if they will not want to harm us.

I understand that this is an assumption, but trust is built somewhat on assumptions. Can you know for sure if someone is trustworthy? I believe you can, but it is questionable. I think real, genuine, unhealthfulness does send the message that you are unscratched with me and I don’t want to hurt you, so you can trust me.

You may not proceeds trust just with unhealthfulness and care, but combined with some of the other points we are making, you are increasingly likely to build trust. The key is to show genuine unhealthfulness and care. Stuff genuine is nonflexible to fake. People can sense when someone is not stuff genuine. You may need to study and grow in love to be worldly-wise to be genuinely affectionate. Nevertheless, trust can be built when a spouse shows genuine unhealthfulness and care.

Openness and Vulnerability throughout your Relationship

A relationship thrives on trust. Trust thrives on knowledge and certainty. Knowledge and certainty are attained through openness and vulnerability. Not sharing information decreases the value of information a person can know well-nigh you. Logically, the less you know, the increasingly unsure you are well-nigh the topic.

Think well-nigh your job. When you started the job, you felt yellow-eyed considering you didn’t know the people you were working with. The policies were new. The systems were new. At what point did you start to finger comfortable? It took me 3 months at one job. What is happening? You have to learn or proceeds the information to finger like you know what you are doing and that you belong.

This example demonstrates how a lack of knowledge decreases repletion or certainty. If you meet a new person, you don’t trust them yet considering you don’t KNOW much well-nigh them. Skepticism may be high. The increasingly unshut and vulnerable a person is, the increasingly their spouse knows well-nigh them, thus increasing certainty and trust.

Validation and Listening to Your Spouse

First, let’s make sure we understand what validation and listening are. What we midpoint by validation and listening is the way you take in information from your spouse. You need to work to understand your partner. This can only be washed-up by truly listening to and validating your spouse’s thoughts and experiences.

By validating your spouse’s wits and listening to them, they will increasingly likely finger that you superintendency well-nigh them. We have been suggesting that when a person feels cared about, they trust flipside person. This is considering they believe the person would not want to harm them. Validation and listening create an emotional connection ensuring the person sharing information that the listener is interested in them.

Would you disagree that when you are interested in something, you superintendency increasingly well-nigh it? When you superintendency well-nigh something, you are less likely to want to hurt it or push it away. Thus, you are increasingly willing to take superintendency of that thing or person. This spells trust. Validating and listening to your spouse are deportment that show you are someone who cares and thus desires to treat your spouse with love. True love usually ways that a person can place their conviction in the person that is demonstrating that love.


I understand that there are exceptions to the points above. However, if you are genuinely using these principles, your spouse will grow in their trust in you. They may not trust you immediately, but trust takes time to build. When you use the principles whilom unceasingly over time, you will build trust.

Combine the principles and use all of them. How powerful are these 5 ways of towers trust when used together? They demonstrate love. True love! The difficulty is implementing these principles over a long unbearable period without losing focus and loving something more. This can be difficult when your spouse seems to not be “doing their part” to build trust, as some have said to me in my office. At least try them and see if they work.

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