Difficult Emotions

What To Say When Someone Apologizes

What To Say When Someone Apologizes? as can heartbreaking betrayals. After all, disagreement is an essential component of being human. If you're lucky, you might receive an apology; but, you might not. However, receiving an apology is not the end of dispute in a relationship, whether platonic, professional, family, romantic, or otherwise. While apologizing is relatively simple (thanks, kindergarten teachers everywhere, for teaching us how to say 'please, thank you, and I'm sorry'), responding to an apology is not always as simple.

When someone hurts us, we must inform them, regardless of whether they intended the act or not, says Seiji Takaku, PhD, Professor of Psychology, Institutional Research and Assessment Coordinator at Soka University of America. "The most important.

Because it might be overwhelming what to say when someone apologizes, we sought experts for specific scripts on what to say. Whether you've ever wondered how to respond to an apology in a way that acknowledges the other person's effort, how to respond to an apology when you're still not over it, or how to respond to an apology when you weren't upset at all, we've got expert-approved phrases for you to remember the next time someone apologizes to you.

What to Say When Someone Apologizes?

What to Say When Someone Apologizes

Below are five different pathways you may take when someone apologizes to you while still respecting your own sentiments and limits.

How to acknowledge their apologies.

It's never easy to apologize, especially when pride is involved, as it frequently is. Therapist Sandra Kushnir, LMFT, founder and CEO of Meridian Counseling, suggests acknowledging the apologizer's courage and vulnerability in doing so. "You may say, 'Thank you for taking the time to apologize. "It means a lot to me that you recognize how your actions affected me," Kushnir adds, since this "not only validates their effort but also opens the door for a constructive discussion."

However, Kushnir adds, "If the apology does not seem genuine and feels forced [or] deflects responsibility for actions, it is okay to point out (calmly and emphatically) your observations about why the apology did not feel genuine or meet your needs."

How to handle your injured feelings and offer forgiveness (if you wish to)?

Don't be hesitant to speak honestly here, Kushnir adds, especially if the individual is someone you actually trust and is making a sincere attempt to resolve the situation. You may say something like, "I want you to know that what occurred really affected me. However, I accept your apology and am eager to work on forgiving you," as suggested by Kushnir, since this language recognizes your personal emotions while staying open to reconciliation, she says.

If you like to keep boundaries and don't regard this individual as having the best of intentions, Kushnir says you don't need to go into detail about why what happened harmed you.

How to accept their apologies and prevent such occurrences in the future?

Say something like, "I appreciate your apologies. I accept it. Moving ahead, I believe it is critical that we talk more freely about our emotions to avoid this from happening again." Kushnir's proposed language "promotes proactive communication and helps establish boundaries."

To minimize future misunderstandings or disputes, Kushnir suggests being explicit about what you require, your expectations, and the repercussions of continued conduct. "Without consequences, people don't take boundaries as seriously," she says.

How to convey reassurance after accepting their apologies?

How to convey reassurance after accepting their apologies

To reassure, Kushnir advises saying something like, "I accept your apologies and feel we can go forward. I believe we both want to improve this relationship. Kusnnir claims that by framing it this way, you stress both your dedication to the relationship and your conviction in the possibility of positive development.

How to reply when you still need time yet are upset or insulted?

In situations like these, when you're still sad, don't be hesitant to communicate your need for time to analyze and consider, Kushnir says. She suggests stating something like, "I appreciate your apology, but I am still hurt." I need some time to comprehend this before I can completely move on." This statement helps you to express your feelings (pain) without discounting their efforts, she explains.

For all my fellow people-pleasers out there, "it's perfectly normal to let them know that [you] are not ready to accept their apology," Dr. Takaku advises. So, instead of bottling things up, feel liberated to take the time you need to digest what happened at your own pace.

"It's okay to process your emotions and decide if you're ready to accept an apology," Minaa tells me. "While forgiveness may be a powerful and therapeutic experience, keep in mind that it is a personal choice and should not be imposed or demanded of others. Finally, the choice to forgive someone should be founded on your personal values, beliefs, and emotional needs."

How to reply to an apology if you aren't genuinely unhappy, but the individual keeps apologizing?

In circumstances where you're over it but the other person keeps apologizing, therapist Nina Batista, LCSW, suggests saying something like, "I appreciate your apologies, but don't worry. It didn't bother me too much, and we can go on," which enables for honest conversation, acknowledges

How to reply to an apology if you're still furious and not ready to let it go?

In these cases, Batista recommends open communication and boundary enforcement. Remember, as Kushnir mentioned above, clear limits and penalties are your best option for avoiding future misunderstandings. In this scenario, you may say something like, "Hey, I appreciate your apology, but I'm not ready to let this go." "I need space to gather my feelings," as Batista suggests. This statement is particularly useful for folks who require more time to ponder and process since it is more open-ended.

What happens if you say you forgive someone but aren't really over it?

What happens if you say you forgive someone but aren't really over it

Minaa argues that in certain circumstances, forgiving and forgetting when you're not genuinely ready may be more harmful and poisonous to you in the long run. "When we're not ready to accept an apology, but we pretend to forgive because we think it's the right thing to do instead…can lead us to engage in unhealthy forgiveness, aka toxic forgiveness," according to Minaa. This could include continuously forgiving someone who repeatedly hurts you without any change in their behavior, forgiving someone without acknowledging the harm they caused or minimizing the impact of their actions, or accepting an apology too quickly without taking time to process and heal from it.